this is obviously the worst expression of these signs. anyway enjoy the roast
aries: does not give a shit about anyone but themselves and only cares about fulfilling their needs and desires
taurus: so fucking stubborn that they would rather be considered a dumbass than admit that they were wrong
gemini: they just don’t stop lying and making shit up
cancer: so overly sensitive and insecure they will murder you then cry about it while saying some shit like “why did you make me do this?”
leo: will not let anyone talk about themselves for more than thirty seconds and will make the biggest scene because their friends didn’t invite them out one time
virgo: will criticize you until you cry then call you a fucktard for being sensitive
libra: just super bland and boring
scorpio: will manipulate and play mind games with you until you want to kill them and yourself, liars
sagittarius: thinks that their truth is the one and only and will shit on you for voicing yours
capricorn: obsessed with money and power they will kick your teeth in with a chair if you try to stop them, will fuck, lie and kill to get to the top
aquarius: filled with pretention but lacking any talent or skill
pisces: make zero fucking sense, so incoherent you want to smash your head against a brick wall